What is wrong with New York's Finest?

Finest, MY ASS. I thought I had just heard it all after the 2 cops who raped the East Village woman. Then, I awake to this...

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/ny_crime/2008/12/06/2008-12-06_brooklyn_cop_indicted_in_michael_mineo_s.html

This is just terrible. AWFUL. I am divided between sadness and rage. So this 24 year old dude was smoking a joint... SO WHAT? Have you ever smoked pot? I have. Does that mean I deserve to be brutally sodomized with a baton by a police officer who busts me for getting high?

It just incenses me that law enforcement is supposed to protect us, and then I hear these stories, and it's such a slap in the face. Who are sexual assault victims supposed to go to for help when the people who we are taught to seek assistance from are the ones committing such heinous acts?

What a way to make me laugh!

A friend of mine who has been through hell of her own in this so called "system" of ours informed me of a hilarious link she found on one of her favorite satire websites about a recent case of a civilian's response to Jury Duty. After a very rough week of crappy rainy weather here in NYC, I laughed so hard, my soda was pouring out of my nose, I nearly peed my pants, and everyone at work had to ask me if I was ok.

http://www.dlisted.com/node/31852

Now... I don't give a rat's ass about what the US Gov says about how it's everyone's civil responsibility to appear for Jury duty. News Flash Uncle Sam... for victims like myself of crime and going through a horrible court case of her own, this rule should be exempt for me. 5 years ago, after trying to get out of it I don't know how many times, they made me go to it anyway and said I could not be excused. What the fuck?

So I went, with my knitting needles and my books, hoping that I would just sit there all day and be excused. Nope... Not with my luck. I got picked for a mock jury panel.

A panel where we all heard some details of a case where this psycho dude wacked some poor man over the head with a baseball bat on East 72nd Street and 3rd. The lawyer's defense strategy? He's a vietnam vet and has paranoia and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and was having a panic attack. Double my luck to have to be a potential juror for selection on a case like this.

Douche bag... I have PTSD. BAD PTSD + Panic attacks & flashbacks. In fact, I had one today during a nasty thunder storm. Do I bash people's heads in with baseball bats or rape little girls and say "I have PTSD... It's ok." Ummmm... NO.

So in the round of questioning on prospective jurors for consideration, this dumb ass defense lawyer calls on me and asks me... "Do you think that because my client is here today, that he automatically is here because he did something wrong?" DUDE... did u go to law school? We just heard he assaulted a man with a baseball bat. DUH!!!!!!?????

Everyone MUST Listen to Faryl Smith's new CD

I know all the hype on Susan Boyle has taken the world by storm... and don't get me wrong... she is FABULOUS. I am tired of all these people in the media criticizing her for taking advantage of makeover opportunities. The Gospel according to me says good for her and you GO GIRL and blow that arrogant Simon Cowell out of the water!

But... as a huge Ellen Degeneres fan who tapes her program every day, I came across this extraordinary talented young lady who was a contestant on last seasons Britain's Got Talent that I never heard about who performed on her show. She didn't win the talent contest, but In my opinion, at 13 years old, she sure should have! Just watching her sing made me cry.

I would strongly recommend her newly released CD "FARYL" to anyone with PTSD, anyone with a child who can't sleep, or just anyone anywhere who takes comfort in a voice that sounds like it sprung out of heaven... FROM A 13 YEAR OLD! AMAZING!

I do not have Anorexia

Claims a former Ms. Universe Contestant. I saw these pictures and I about hit the floor. I have had Anorexia since I was 12. I can spot them from the nose bleed section at Yankee Stadium.

http://news.sky.com/skynews/Home/World-News/Miss-Universe-Australia-Finalist-Stephanie-Naumoska-Says-She-Is-Not-Anorexic/Article/200904415268555?lpos=World_News_First_Home_Page_Feature_Teaser_Region_0&lid=ARTICLE_15268555_Miss_Universe_Australia_Finalist_Stephanie_Naumoska_Says_She_Is_Not_Anorexic

I don't mean to be a hypocrite about something so serious, but this is the classic sign of Anorexics... denial, refusal to maintain a normal body weight, and inability see their emaciated appearance. I was that girl. I still struggle with not seeing how thin I look to others, but at least I am in therapy and recognize I have a problem.

I used to think that Kiera Knightly had an eating disorder but now I am inclined to believe her that she doesn't. I don't think she would have the stamina do all those action movies if she were so malnourished, and she's spotted around London eating normally in restaurants all the time- something most people who have eating disorders do not.

This chick I don't believe. Nobody who eats six healthy meals a day looks like this. She's full of shit.

This is America...

My Darling Father has a quote- “This is America, you are entitled to your opinion.”

Such was the quote he issued to many Anorexia expert therapists who have treated me over the years to sibling rivalry fights, as well as when me and my brothers got older and we all had our own views of the mess of the world we live in and how it should it work. I guess a lot of it was to keep the peace.

But this brings me to my feelings on the recent Ms.USA pageant, where Ms. California lost to Ms. North Carolina. I didn’t see the pageant, as I do not feel that viewing these events are good for me for obvious reasons- beauty, bikinis, and who is the skinniest, most perfect and most talented. I’ve tortured my life and my health with such ideals. I’ve starred in the movie. I do not need to watch a mirror of myself on TV

I do firmly believe however, that Ms. California’s opinion on Gay Marriage when asked her views on it has been unfairly ostracized by not only the judges of the pageant themselves, but the media as well. I can‘t say whether her answer cost her the crown, as I did not see it. I really don’t care.

But I did see some news clips about it, and my feelings are the following:

This is a USA pageant. Last time I checked, America is a free country that supports freedom of speech and standing up for what you believe in, regardless of whether or not public opinion agrees with it. Criticizing someone for exercising this right defies what we as a country stand for. I love how Obama said the same thing she did about not being for it and is treated like a rock star, but she gets death threats. NICE!

Personally, I am for Gay Marriage- as I have many gay friends. Go ahead my Catholic church group friends and vilify me for feeling this way. I don’t vilify you if you agree with Ms. California. My point is, she owned the right to express her opinion. Kuddos to Angie Harmon for defending her.

Such a wonderful Boy!

This story of Phillip Markoff is just disgusting. I don't even want to get into the details, but he is accused of assualting and killing women who posted Ads on Craigslist.

Here's what pisses me off...I could give a flying fuck whether or not he's a medical student or the next Patron Saint according to Pope Benedict.

MANY, MANY smart people who are lawyers, doctors, priests, and teachers- even Mother's and fathers rape and kill people. Sometimes, their own flesh and blood. No one wants to believe that it is far more often than not the neighbor next door who seems as common and routine as the fed ex man are the ones responsible for committing such atrocities. Just look at Sandra Cantu.

I understand that people have a hard time understanding why people do bad things to good people. I ask myself everyday, why did the people do what they did to me?

But the fact is, I don't really care why, and I don't think the victims families do either. I care that this type of behavior is unacceptable and dramtically changed my life forever. I am sick of all the shrinks on TV trying to psychonalyze justifiable reasons for criminal's behavior.

And according to Mr. Markoff's fiance.... he is so wonderful and could never hurt a fly. I will be saying my rosary for this deluded alleged bride to be.

Shrinks are human too

I am very obsessed- I admit, with HBO's mini series "In treatment". It is a fabulous show chronicling the life of a middle aged therapist played by Gabriel Byrne, his relationship with his patients, his own failed marriage, and how it all affects him- prompting him to go back "In Treatment" with his former mentor, a therapist played by the fabulous actress, Diane Wiest, who also happens to be a parishioner of my church.

After reading about horrific criminal stories in the news this week, ones just too gut wrenching to mention... I got to thinking... what has happened to the people we employ to heal us to make them pursue this profession? Do they or have they battled with the same demons in some fashion as us that motivate them to sit and listen to us?

I would never dare ask, as it over-steps the boundaries of professionalism, but I couldn't help but wonder... what have they been through in their lives that makes them want to listen to fucked up people like me? (Just Kidding)

But seriously- I wonder. I think that between tonight's episodes of "In Treatment" and in my bedroom this mornng with The Today Show on in the background while getting dressed for work, it really sparked my curiosity. There I am rolling up my black tights and fastening my skirt, and I hear this really familiar voice on TV commenting on the economy and it's affect on relationships- the affect in particular, on divorced couples with children. I rush to the bedroom and stare at the TV. HOLY SHIT- it was my new shrink.