Accident My Ass

Nothing has gotten under my skin more these past two days other than my broken TV and reading about this story of the tragic murder of Yardley Love.

http://www.aolnews.com/nation/article/death-of-virginia-student-yeardley-love-an-accident-say-lawyers-for-suspect-george-huguely/19463887?icid=main|aim|dl1|link3|http%3A%2F%2Fwww.aolnews.com%2Fnation%2Farticle%2Fdeath-of-virginia-student-yeardley-love-an-accident-say-lawyers-for-suspect-george-huguely%2F19463887

I think it's disgusting that his entourage of defense attorneys' are coming out and claiming it was an accident after he admitted to police that he practically beat the woman to death. If you read the link, he apparently has a history of abusing alcohol. I don't care what anybody says. Alcohol abuse is never an excuse for murder or violence.

What further irritates me are the reports I have heard from a former UVA graduate and friend/Victim's right's advocate with a horrible sexual assault case of her own while she was there, is how the University is encouraging students who may have known about this perp's history of violent outbursts to remain silent and not talk to the media. In my friend's case, they did the exact same thing to her. Shut Up. We want to make this go away. Since when does silence solve the problem of rape, domestic violence or murder? I am tired of all these "prestigious" universities trying to sweep campus crime under the rug. It only magnifies the problem. The friends of Ms. Love have a moral obligation to cooperate with the authorities on what they knew of her relationship with this psycho bastard, and the university has no legal authority to try and stop them.

Stupid Athletes And Their Sense of Entitlement

It's hard for me to know what to make of this one. 2nd accusation of sexual assault on this asshole in a year. Let's face it- rapists don't have stellar track records for refraining from re-offending.

I don't know what to make of this arrogant football punk, "BIG BEN." I've read that is his reputation in any establishment he frequents. The first accuser's case has all kinds of problems because she went the civil route in pursuing the complaint- not a wise move, but I understand why victims do that because reporting it to legal authorities is such a painful process. Even if she is telling the truth, it unfortunately makes her look like she's a gold digger. It's too hard to tell, and she has an alleged rocky psychiatric history even before her accusation. Who knows who's telling the truth.

But in the most recent allegation, the victim did everything right and went to the police and the hospital, knowing exactly who he was. Why put yourself through that knowing you are going to get villified by the media as a slut and a cash whore who was asking for it? That's just what the media does when you accuse a celebrity of sexual assault. Even when not dealing with a celebrity, in my own experience, even cops and prosecutors and defense lawyers have made comments like that to me. Perhaps not as directly, but still. I am tired of the victim blaming in this society.

Whether these accusations end up being decided true or false in a court of law will have to remain to be seen. But the issue of him being stupid freaking idiot is clear. When you are as famous as Roethlisberger, already have one sexual assault complaint pending against you, why put yourself in a sitaution partying it up with a bunch of twenty year college females? I mean seriously... how dumb as fuck and senseless can you be? It appears to me that his fame has given him such a sense of entitlement that he has no care in the world for respecting other people. Not such a good role model if you ask me. Plus- I think he's UGLY AS SIN. Why women rally around him like he is Brad Pitt is beyond me.

Not a priority....Ummm.... WHAT?

I have never heard of a more outrageous comment to address a human crisis like this in my life. It's ignorant and insensitive as fuck comments like these that so many rape victims don't come forward. I am outraged that anyone representing any country could make such a comment.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100316/ap_on_re_la_am_ca/cb_haiti_earthquake

I have mixed feelings about this....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VS2mfWDryPE

This is a link to the controversy of an anorexic French Model who agreed to volunteer to pose for an ad campaign in Italy raising awareness about Anorexia.

I was not going to post a picture, it's too disturbing. But on the one hand, I see both sides to this argument. I am not sure that this ad campaign sends a very good message to people with Anorexia. I see the interviewer's point about it having a negative influence on women, as I also see the point that Isabelle was too sick to consent to do this. The weird freckle thing has me a bit puzzled. Although, I know better than anyone, people with eating disorders have a lot of physical hangups in addition to their own hangups with food.

If on the other hand, she is truly serious about getting well, then perhaps this could be a positive thing. Although she has made progress, her weight is still too low in my opinion to be thinking rationally to do this on their own as an outpatient. Sadly, at her age, no one can force her to go into inpatient treatment. I hope she does recover and it's not too late for her. So many promising souls are slaves to this God awful and often misunderstood disease that it costs them their life. I am praying it doesn't turn out this way for Isabelle Carro.

Well Well Well.... True Colors Do Indeed Shine Through!

A dear survivor friend of mine posted this link on her facebook page today.

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/2010/02/18/2010-02-18_crystal_gail_mangum_stripper_in_duke_lacrosse_rape_case_charged_with_arson_and_a.html

Crystal Gail Mangum... the infamous false Duke Lacrosse Rape Accuser, appears to have gone off the deep end yet again when arrested for assaulting her boyfriend. Just Who is the victim here, and who is the offender?

The Duke case always fascinated me. As a rape survivor myself, my gut usually tells me to trust the victim making the complaint, because I know better than anyone what defense lawyers do to smear the reputations of assault survivors who are brave enough to come forward. It takes some pretty gut wrenching courage.

However, as this clearly disturbed girl's past began to unravel with documented reports of other accusations she made in the past believed to be false, along with the inconsistencies in her Duke tale, it became impossible for me to believe she was telling the truth about being raped and was better suited to the profile of a pathological liar than a rape victim.

Don't get me started on my beef with Mike Nifong and how he pursued this case despite all the damning information that was a matter of public record on this crazy chick that came out in the media.

As we can see from her most recent violent antics, it is clearly Ms. Mangum who has the problem.

I think Mangum should have served jail time from the get go when it came out she was lying, even though I stand by my belief the Duke boys weren't exactly choir boys either. But, she has a distinct patten of reporting false accusations, and it is women like her who bias prosecutors and law enforcement from "real victims" who are telling the truth, making us feel helpless to be heard. I really don't have a lot of empathy for any gender who report false accusations when it comes out plain as day they were lying later. Why? Because it makes the process so much harder for so many people like myself and many others I know who fight like hell to pursue true justice.

I guess her recent arrest for this assault and what I am sure will be jail this time around, better than none.

Rest in Peace, Phoebe Prince

I have been nursing a pretty nasty stomach bug and haven't been able to blog much, but I saw this story, and I was really pretty outraged, to say the least.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1246284/Teenage-Irish-girl-emigrated-America-hanged-cyber-bullying-torment.html

This beautiful young girl with her whole future ahead of her immigrated to America from Ireland with her family only to be ridiculed and tormented by her classmates with all kinds of Internet and text threats, labeled all kinds of derogatory names, all out of cruelness, jealousy, and downright evilness. These taunts resulted in taking her own life.

I love facebook and the convenience of modern technology with texting and wireless email, but I don't think it was invented or intended to be used as a tool to promote harassment and verbal abuse. This is just heart breaking, and I can't imagine how her family must be feeling right now.

I don't understand how parents can let their children have such free reign over the Internet. They should be more aware of what websites and electronic gadgets their kids are using and just what they are using them for. Clearly, this girl was being bullied, and the school failed to recognize the signs and protect her. Even if she was too afraid to come forward to report these incidents, I have little doubt that the signs she was in trouble were there, and those in the system employed to protect her failed her. Thoughts?

No more frapps for me from the starfucks folks

And no more sausage egg and cheese from Micky D's. On the rare occasions I allow myself to induge in fast food junk, the fast food/coffee houses featured in this heinous story will no longer be graced by my patronage.

Thanks to my friend Liz for alerting me to this story.

http://abcnews.go.com/Blotter/teenage-starbucks-barista-sues-sex-demands-work/story?id=9631145

I have major problems with how both the media and these corporations themselves blame the victims and brand them as sluts who should know better. Having had sex before at 16 years old does not give your employer carte blanche to sexually harass you.

Young teenagers are impressionable and easy to take advantage of. A 24 year old manager should know that engaging in a sexual relationship with a 16 year old barista is asking for huge trouble. The parent/victim bashing is so typical of what goes on in these types of cases and it really pisses me off. I wanted to smack the Starbucks human resources representative featured in this story. Gee... when you were sixteen, I bet you were perfect. Never smoked a joint, never fooled around, never touched a drop of alcohol. No siree... you were too busy reading your Bible. And as for your role as a parent and instilling positive values in your children, good luck if you think when your kid is 16 they will do everything you taught them. I'm sure Robert Chamber's mother tried her best, and now look at him...

I'm glad this prick went to prison. He deserved it, and starbucks should pay up.

Best and Worst Dressed at the Globes 2010

Ok- I love Sandra Bullock, and I loved Blind Side...But really... (sorry Sandra fans, but I think she looked like What's eating Gilbert Grape?) The see through thing was tasteless and the hair a mess. And Julia? I mean, come on... you are Julia... you could at least step it up a bit.

But Penelope, Jennifer, and Drew got it right.

Other downers of the evening- I thought that the Mel Gibson joke while pretty funny was in bad taste at a person's journey in recovery. If I were a famous actress and it was public knowledge I had an eating disorder, I wouldn't appreciate a host making fun of me for it. I think if people want to find humor in their weaknesses, then it is up to the individual afflicted by them to find their own way to express it, but that's just me.

I also really did not appreciate the Martin Scorsese tribute when he blatantly defends a rapist who fled from justice for nearly 3 decades. Why people rally around this pervert in support of him incenses me.

My congratulations to all the winners, poorly dressed or not, except Marty.

If this evil heinous vile scum of the earth doesn't get the chair for this, I will kill him myself.

I saw this story on the news tonight and I just about vomited my chunky chicken noodle. Wouldn't you? Lest I get blasted by one of my friends on Facebook for speaking out about it, I posted it here instead.

I don't care if these stories are not good for me to listen to. If people like me don't pay attention to these horrible acts of cruelty and do something to implement change, then who else will?

Surely not this dumb as fuck and heartless judge. So the story goes- perp Jospeh Gardner's resume consists of the following:

1) A long criminal rap sheet.

2) Earlier last year (ugh... I FUCKING HATE THIS WORD...) "ALLEGEDLY" accused of raping a six year old child.

3) Released on 10K bail when the prosecution asked for 200 by this idiot ass judge

4) Post bail release, "Allegedly" raped his girlfriend's 3 year old daughter. (Mother did not know he had been accused of rape before and she awoke to her daughter's screams)

5) Now arrested again.

Way to go judge! What is it with these clueless judges who do not know the statistics that child molesters and rapists generally are repeat offenders? Umm... Josef Fritzel? Alex Kelley? HELLO? This just incenses me beyond words and breaks my heart. I hope they throw a lot more than life at him. He deserves it.

http://www.boston.com/news/local/massachusetts/articles/2009/12/17/court_hears_new_child_rape_charge_against_kingston_man/

A voice of reason speaks out!

I was listening to a radio show earlier tonight by Levi Page- a person with a talk show based on criminal justice covering many national criminal cases.

One that was featured tonight was on Susan Powell, the missing Utah woman whose husband is “a person if interest” in her disappearance. I wrote about it a few weeks ago. Don’t get me started on my feelings about the way law enforcement needs to word things when there is no body or “sufficient” physical evidence to make an arrest or I will surely go off a cliff.

It’s plain as day to me, the hubster killed her. But that aside, Mr. Page featured a wonderful victim’s rights advocate on his show last night commenting on the Powell case and advising women the best course of action and game plans on how to get out of abusive relationships.

Whether the abuse is physical or emotional, I have a handful of very successful friends, friends with good families, friends with good jobs including one who is an attorney, and all have the financial resources who can afford therapy, but who just choose to stay with vile scumbags and complain to me non stop about how evil they are. It drives me bat shit crazy. I understand we all have our demons in our pasts that may impact our self esteems; myself included as a rape survivor, how much one can fall victim into self destructive behavior or abusive relationships.

But Ladies- this is 2010. Help is there if you just know where to ask for it. Why so many don’t just really bugs me. Even though I understand fear, you have to just rise above it and let the experts do their jobs. I know that sometimes not everything works out the way it should in this world, but Susan Murphy Milano has some excellent advice on how it can.

www.SusanMurphyMilano.com

How to cope with ED Freakouts during the Holidays

Anyone reading this post with an ED knows precisely how the holiday food hoopla can provoke massive anxiety. I go through it EVERY.FREAKING.YEAR. It does indeed royally fucking suck.

At parties: Michele, did you eat?

At work: Michele, Want a piece of Chocolate?

At home: Michele, what should we have in the house to eat for you? Michele, get off the computer, breakfast time, lunch time, cocktail hour time, dinner time, desert time. No pumpkin pie for you? How about a cookie? How are things going with your nutrtionist, and you need to put on more weight, young lady. Your brothers are worried sick.

So, while after 22 years, I know all these tools to help me cope, I thought I would share them here in hopes it would help anyone else. It's a guide posted by the Nationl Eating Disorders Association on how to get through the food freak outs.

http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/p.asp?WebPage_ID=286&Profile_ID=73493

Hooray for Hollywood!

While I always place the blame for violence against another on the perpatrator, when it comes to Tinsel Town and Charlie Sheen, They feed the problem by continuing to employ him on the sitcom- 2.5 Men.

http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/b159724_charlie_sheens_women_troubles_are.html

To continue to employ him as the highest paid actor in a sitcom sends the message that violence against women- or heck- violence against anyone, is acceptable.

Charlie Sheen is no stranger to making headlines for these infamous incidents. (ie...Kelly Preston, Denise Richards and now, allegedly, his current wife.)

I know I am going to be read the riot act on being judgemental, but he's been married what... I don't know how many times with public records of such behaviors? I am hard pressed to believe that anyone who enters into a relationship with him is not knowledgeable of his abusive history. Such does not make his victims of his crimes their fault, abuse is never one's fault; but AWARENESS, AWARENESS, AWARENESS, my fellow sisters. Do not let anyone treat you like that. You deserve better than that.

Brittnay Murphy.... so horribly sad

As much as I was shocked to learn of her sudden death, I have to be honest and say that once the shock wore off, it really didn't surprise me.

In recent months, she's gotten thinner and thinner to the point where she looks like a concentration camp victim. Although she vehemently denied having an eating disorder, so did Calista Flockhart, then later admitted she did "have some kind of one" but was very vague. I recognize everyone is entitled to their privacy, but I applaud people like Tracy Gold, the former Ms. America, and Christina Ricci who came out and admitted to having one because I think raising awareness about eating disorders is critical to the problem, as strongly as I feel about raising awareness about sexual assault and domestic violence. Rape is why I have an eating disorder in the first place.

I don't know if she had an eating disorder or to what extent, but after having anorexia for 22 years, it sure as heck looked like she had it to me, but I am trying not to judge. Regardless of whether or not she did or she didn't, she was clearly abnormally underweight, and now reported by her friends as to abusing prescription drugs along with negative body image issues and a serious addiction to plastic surgery. She also was supposedly a diabetic. All of these medical conditions I am sure played it's role, whether she was anorexic or not. When you are popping pills with low body weight, taking flu medicine on top of it, it's going to reek havoc on your body. Same with Heath Ledger and Michael Jackson.

This isn't to judge but a call to physicians that they must after these cases take more responsibility at what they are prescribing to their patients so recklessly. Yes- I know a celeb can get this anywhere, I know they can go to a million physicians and lie about whatever their junk is, but there are things that can be done to regulate the problem- like blood test them to see if there is anything else in their patients systems before they pick up the pen and the pad.

It saddens me to see so many bright talents with such potential fall into this pattern of destructive behavior when they have more financial resources than most Americans to seek treatment. RIP Brittany.

Something Isn't Right Here...

I know I vowed to stay away from criminal cases this pre- holiday weekend, but something about this one just irks me.

http://www.examiner.com/x-22460-Seattle-Family-Examiner~y2009m12d16-SUSAN-POWELL-UPDATE-Police-suspect-foul-play---husband-now-a-person-of-interest

I really hate all these bullshit legal terms- "person of interest" "Not a suspect," yet. "Alleged" I know better than anyone how this dialogue goes and the stupid laws as to why news peeps and police must refer to reporting on these matters in this fashion. I simply don't agree with it. I do not subscribe to the idea of innocent until proven guilty. I subscribe to if you are not guilty, then you cooperate and you open your mouth and say what you know to legal authorities. If you have nothing to hide, did nothing wrong, then speak.

Before everyone rants at me that "Mr. Powell" who is now a person of interest in the case of his missing wife has no legal obligation to speak, well you can rest assured... I KNOW THIS.

That doesn't mean I think his lack of cooperation is right. If anything, it makes him look worse.

Do the math... two kids under five- he takes them camping after midnight. They are No show to day care without any clarification as to why, and he and his wife are no shows to work. Umm... HELLO?

I am so over hearing this story- it needs a new word for over.

I really am sick of hearing about this story.

He’s an infamous athlete, women at his feet, and the freaking world at his feet. Of course he’s going to cheat when he has all these bimbos throwing themselves at him.

Ok- I know where this is going… Michele is judgmental… not all rich and famous men cheat. Well… I feel differently about this based on my own observance of people of his caliber. Umm… does Elliot Spitzer or Bill Clinton or John Edwards or Kobe Bryant ring a familiar bell?

More so than their philandering behavior blasted all over the news that angers me is why their wives stay with them. I’d rather take the pre-nuptial agreement cash than put up with this infidelity bullshit, no matter how rich or famous my spouse was. Alas- perhaps this is why I am still single.

Spitzer’s hooker blasting all of Tiger’s lovers on extra tonight? After what she did? Lord help me, PLEASE!

Sorry to all ladies who disagree with me, but this is not behavior I would ever tolerate, no matter what my status in society was. I’d rather be poor and have my self respect, dignity and build a good life for myself then be humiliated in such a fashion, even if that meant I had to sacrifice the I am so sorry jewelry. Cheating, infidelity…forget it Macho Man.

Most men are lucky if they make it past strike one with me with even not as great a betrayal as that. Yep… I know I am bitch. You can say it.

Why does this bother me?

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/northamerica/usa/6746377/Daughter-of-Billy-Joel-and-Christie-Brinkley-overdoses.html

Well, because it does. I, not being famous, not having rich parents, have been detained in the Cornell psych ward after panic attacks on the street, all which if the paramedics had just let me be and come to, would have relieved by themselves. None of these incidents involved overdosing, yet they still kept me there, against my will as a 35 year old adult. If I had parent's as famous and rich as Alexa's, I would have been out of there in a NY minute.

Since I don't, they held me there and made me feel like I was an eternal freak. This girl needs help- her parents, too caught up in their own drama to help her. It is my opinion based on personal experience that she would never have been discharged without her notaritey.

I don't know what to make of this verdict...

I have followed this case for a while and am grappling with, believe her, or not?

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/top-stories/2009/12/06/jailed-amanda-knox-vows-no-more-tears-115875-21875925/

I know the legal system in Europe is very different than the United States, but still. Her behavior patterns that night and after the murder appear erratic. I try not to judge how people behave after trauma having gone through enough of my own, and everyone responds differently.

While I recognize that, her whole story is filled with holes and inconsistencies. Maybe she did not kill Meredith Kercher. I don't know.

But I am hard pressed to believe that she does not know who or what went down that night and who is responsible for this murder. Call me judgemental, but I can't believe she or the others involved doesn't know something and aren't talking. She lived with her- the three involved all knew each other.

If she is truly innocent, then her sentence is unfair. But I just have my doubts on this one. She has struck me as uncooperative from the get go.

Our Lives Are Destroyed?

Ok... now REALLY. Seriously...

What in the fuck is up with these quacks? We were invited. Ummm... yeah... to the White House? Where is the invite? Oh no... we were invited via email. That's like me pulling a fast one on my nutritionist. I'm 110... I swear... Really? Get on the scale and then me being so busted.

What gets under my skin about this so much is first off, the media attention this story has generated. I understand it is a serious issue given the security failure and it needs to be addressed, but there are far graver crimes going on in this world. (ie: murder, rape, child abuse, domestic violence, genocide, war.)

Secondly, to give this couple so much airtime and attention only serves to feed their quest for fame and fortune. They are nobodies trying to strike it rich just like the balloon boy family.

Thirdly, when my tax dollars employ the secret service, I think I am entitled to a serious refund after they fucked up so royally.

Food, Glorious Food- For some.... For Others, it is HELL

I know somewhere on here I have written about this before, but I am doing so again.

I really freaking hate all the holiday hoopla food crap. EVERY. SINGLE. BLOODY. YEAR.

Want some apple pie, Michele Christine? Umm... no thank you, Auntie, Mommy, Daddy, & brothers. Leave me alone please, and I have eaten what my nutritionsit has said, thank you much.

For those of you reading this who have an eating disorder and understand, you get my drift. BACK OFF ABOUT WHAT I PUT IN MY MOUTH.

For those of you reading this who don't get it...let me explain. We know you care, but you just don't understand. Nothing you say while however well intentioned will make this time of year easiar for us- or easy for us anytime of year. We are going to eat what we want, and what we feel safe and comfortable with. You don't need to tell us, but... it's only 300 calories and no one will notice if you gain 2lbs. We know all of this intellectually, but it doesn't click the same way in our brains as it does yours.

Put some apple pie in front of a bulimic and they can't stop at one slice. Put it in front of an anorexic, and enjoy the freak show after you tell them... just one bite. Would you tell an alcoholic to have just one sip of wine after years of sobriety? Somehow, I doubt it.

For anyone out there who knows someone with an eating disorder, the best thing you can do is be supporitive without the commentary of what the ED afflicted puts in their mouths. Those of us in recovery do our best to nourish ourselves, and it aint easy. So please.... let us eat in peace. The comments make it worse.

If you see something, say something, It's better than staying silent. You could save someone's life and they will thank you for it.

A survivor friend of Mine raised my attention to the recent developments in the case of a Virginia missing college student, Morgan Harrington, in an excellent news article.

http://www.readthehook.com/blog/index.php/2009/11/15/concerned-witnesses-before-hitching-morgan-harrington-caused-worry/

Morgan Harrington was supposed to be en route attending a rock concert, but suddenly disappeared and the accounts of what went down as to what happened and why vary. I understand that pending investigation, police can't say much, but it appears more people are shutting up than talking.

Two years ago, I could have died if people had not assisted me in a near fatal accident. My response to this situation is the following, and my prayer, that people learn from it.

This is a very excellent article. But the circumstances haunt me. It seems that something went down that day that made her get stuck and not able to gain re-entry and more people who know what was up with her like her friends aren't talking. Why go to a concert allegedly planned with friends and arrive by yourself? Alleged... How I detest that word. But it unfortunately has to be used in the lienancy of what is the BS of our criminal judicial system, in my opinion.

What is so troublesome to me is that people have reported mutiple accounts of seeing someone hurt and disoriented resembling her descrption and not wanting to get involved. It's like the Richmond case. What is wrong with people? If I ever saw anything like that, I would call for help immediately and report any suspicions to 911- whether I knew the victim or not. I'd give my name and tell the police everything I knew and saw, willingling and with no regrets. At least one person did according to the article. If you have nothing to hide, then talk. This woman is missing, my fear, dead. Her family devastated at her disapearance. It Reminds of the Natalee Holloway Case.

I live in Manhattan and suffer from a seizure disorder. Many times, I have had seizures on the streets of New york despite compliance with all medication. 1 that severely injured me just two days ago in 2007 and nearly cost me my life. Granted, it was a busy time during exiting work rush hour in midtown and people were around to help, but there were other times at random times of day or just a late night trip to the grocery store where I had them. In all instances, people helped and got me to the hospital. Granted, I carry all medical 411 on my wrist, but still. Why can't more people help people in obvious danger because they fear their reputations of their own ass?

That being said, I will never forget the good samiritans who helped me when I was too impaired from a horrible disorder to help myself and not take advantage of me. They know who they are.