People may kick my ass on this one, but this is how I feel on the Ben Roethlisberger rape case. A friend of mine brought my attention to this article on the statistics of rapes that go un-reported- particularly when the accused is a high profile celebrity.
http://www.rgj.com/article/20090722/NEWS/90722035/1321/NEWS
I believe this girl. I totally believe she is telling the truth. I completely understand what it is like for victims not wanting to report their assaults out of fear of not being believed and being made out to be the bad one, the guilty one, the liar, the slut, the you were asking for it based on what you drank or what you wore, you little whore.
I went through 18 months of defense lawyers and cops, and sometimes even prosecutors- the people who were supposed to be on my side, treating me like this. It sucked- even gave me a nervous breakdown, and my rapist was not famous. Nearly every rape victim who comes forward to report it has to go through this process- remember the Central Park Jogger Tricia Meili who was left for dead and what everyone said about her…. She was jogging late at night…. It’s her fault.
My point is, if I had to do it over again just to have my say in court, I would- regardless of the outcome. While it is true that this victim was not obligated to file a criminal complaint for probably all of the above justifiable reasons I mentioned, in the eyes of the people defending him, only filing a civil complaint makes her look like she wants $, not justice. I am not calling her a gold digger… I am not saying that is her motivation…. I am saying that is what will be the perception, and this comes from my own experience.
I remember when I was going through the criminal investigation in my case, and my family decided to hire a civil attorney just to advise me. When the DA found out I had one, she called me up rip roaring pissed. YOU HAVE A CIVIL ATTORNEY? I’M YOUR ATTORNEY. What’s wrong with some independent counsel looking out for my own best interest? You don’t work for me, you work for the state. Because if you have a civil attorney and this goes to trial, I can’t keep that from the defense and it makes you look like you want money and weakens our case. I thought that was ridiculous but it is unfortunately true and I understood her point.
It is my belief that the only way things in this country can change when it comes to sexual assault is for the victims of this awful act to come forward and report it to authorities so there is a record of a complaint. I’m not gonna lie- it’s not a trip to Disney Land and no, you may not always get the outcome you want. But the only way to raise awareness to the problem is to continue to report it- no matter how famous they are, no matter how drunk you were or what you wore. I don’t want to judge people who don’t come forward, but staying silent enables the problem.
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