When I was first diagnosed with Epilepsy, I was 21 and waitressing on Christmas Eve at my College Job at Pizzeria Uno on good old 86th and Third. One second I was working, the next second I woke up bleeding on the floor and was rushed to Leonx Hill. I had another seizure on the monitor that my parents and doctor's witnessed with me convulsing like mad, yet, all brain waves during the seizure were normal.
With medication, we were able to control them aside from the occasional few. Then last year, I had one again on November 15th that resulted in damage so severe, I had to get 4 teeth extracted + implants. I took every test known to man, but there was no medical cause they could determine that was wrong with my brain. Back to the drawing board again with a new medicine regime.
This Monday, while on my lunch hour doing errands in my apartment, I seized again. I woke up on my floor all disoriented and confused after two hours. I had to call my office to explain what happened while they contacted my brother who came rushing over to administer first aid. My left eye is every color of the rainbow and I look like a freak and am embarrassed to be seen in public.
Back to the neurologist again, change medicine again, and now more tests. I was alone when this happened. What if I hadn't woken up? How many damned seizures am I going to have before one possibly kills me?
I just don't understand why they can't find a reason. I hate the misconceptions people have about people with this illness. I hate the fact that I still have seizures when I am compliant with my medication and I hate the fact that in addition to having a horrible case of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and an Eating Disorder, I have to live with the fear of this too? WHY??? Lord Jesus, haven't I gone through enough???
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